Thursday, April 27, 2006

I felt a God Breeze. At least that is what Flylady calls them. I usually call them holy moments.
But whatever you want to call them, I had some yesterday afternoon. I have been wrestling and wrangling with myself for years over the amount of craft, sewing, quilting, and scrapbooking supplies I have. (Ok, I admit, I left off the painting, knitting, and bead and wire work so I wouldn't look so bad!) Let's just say I have a real affinity for these type materials. I know why. It is obvious to me. When I was so depressed and could barely get out of bed, quilting was what kept my mind spinning and alive with ideas. I anticipated my quilting and designing time much the same way as I do with my digital scrapbook designing now. I think I have written before that an enjoyable creative activity creates serotonin in your brain. So for a long period of time (more than 5 years) the act of crafting in all it various forms really did have a direct effect on my state of mind. BUT, here is the God Breeze, the supplies themselves did not make me happy. It was what I was doing with the supplies that generated the good feelings. It is the creative process that God uses to stimulate our minds and deepen our awareness. Not the supplies themselves. So, what is the big difference you ask? It has huge ramifications for me. I no longer feel like I have to have the inventory of a small craft store in my studio. I am free to donate the items that I decided I did not like and the ones that I have not used in a long time to someone who can use them. I do not have to cling to all of it in fear that my life will turn upside down again and these things will be my only solace. There are stores in this world and if I want to embark on a new project I can get the necessary supplies for it. But I know myself well enough to know that I would be wanting to try something totally new unless it were in my long-standing core interests of quilting, sewing and scrapbooking. Those seem to be the ones that have lasting value for me. And to be quite honest, looking at all this clutter has actually been reversing the momentum I get when I create. I have long dreaded coming home from a drive I have taken into town to think and design because I didn't have a space left here to create. It was all full of the things needed to create. Hmmmm.

So yesterday afternoon I asked an acquaintance that I have "known" for the twelve years that we have lived in this area if she would like to inherit any of my stuff. She works at Hobby Lobby cutting fabric and we have discussed all the projects that I have started (notice I didn't say "finished" LOL) over those years. She has a booth at a craft show each fall with sewn and painted items so she was absolutely delighted. I can't wait to see her face when she sees the box of painting pattern books. I sorted them last night and am keeping only the ones that are my favorites (about 10) and am giving her the other 36. Not a bad inheritance for a painter who actually finishes and sells her work. I am honored to bless her business in this way. Maybe I will ask for her to paint me something that I can hang in my new home as a way to remember that it is the creative process, not the craft product, that brings me happiness. It is so good to feel free. So very good to feel like I am moving forward in a new way for a new time. But I am still me!

And when sorting fabric and unfinished quilting projects yesterday, I was very pleasantly surprised to see that I had become quite good. I had forgotten the extent to which I had mastered an invisible applique stitch with silk thread. I had only a distant memory of the Dear Jane quilt with its teensy little pieces in its deliciously varied 5 inch blocks. Hmmmm. Sounds like I might have been bitten by a quilting bug while sorting and decluttering. Now THAT feels good just like it should!

Thank you Creating God for allowing us to change as we grow. For calling us to different situations and continually requiring us to become even better than we were before while never telling us that we aren't good enough. I delight in your service and in your spirit. Amen.

3 comments:

  1. It's wonderful that you've had this realization - and I imagine your friend is going to love all those supplies! I feel anxious just going near my supplies these days - I think today will be a decluttering mission for me. :)

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  2. RosieB12:49 PM

    So pleased for you! I had a similar realisation a few weeks ago and have been busy sorting out all the 'stuff' that I have acquired over the years - not just crafting but books, clothes that I 'might shrink into!' etc - it was so bad I felt like I didnt have room to breathe. I have given away, donated and thrown away a huge amount that I have been carrying around with me for years and I feel so much lighter! still lots to go, but now its become fun because I am on a mission to reclaim my space! Good luck with your mission.

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  3. You sound like me. Except I'm still at a point where I can't give it up.

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