Saturday, May 06, 2006

Well, go figure! I got up from writing the last post and went out to get the mail. I was expecting my Body Clutter book from FlyLady and they came. But on the way to the mailbox, I decided to keep walking. I have been trying to adopt the new habit for the month of May of blessing your body with 15 minutes of movement every day. So I started off down the country lane in the mist and was battling a head full of swimming thoughts the whole way. I was asking myself how I could free myself of the stress and who would have guessed..... When I made it to the hill and found myself breathing hard to make it to the head cleared for the first time all day. I started to think clearly and postively. Hmmmm. The cheeseburger at lunch didn't do it. The diet coke didn't help. The surfing the internet or looking at a magazine didn't do it. The defragging of the hard drives certainly didn't help! LOL! Pulling the covers up over my head and trying to nap didn't bring me any peace. But chugging up a hill did the trick! Will somebody please remind me of this next time my mind wraps around itself and squeezes little old me to bits? Please?

Oh, and another thing..... I realized on the way back home (after the Blessed Hill had freed me) that I think I have been misinterpreting my own feelings. I think that I am really quite full of uncertainty instead of fear. That might not seem like a very important distinction, but it is to me. It makes perfect sense for me to be uncertain. I am in the middle of a major move, getting ready to start homeschooling my four kids for the first time, am currently working in a creative designing and writing position at one of the top digital scrapbooking sites online, am becoming closer to my husband than I have been in years, have just lost 30 pounds and am getting lots of comments and attention about "the new me", am developing a new friendship that means a great deal to me, and am trying to finish remodeling my house all at the same time. And I left lots of things off the list so as not to be too much of a worrier! LOL

But I think my uncertainty is fairly natural at this point. I have two non-profits I would like to start very soon and I would love to have a profitable web presence as a designer as well. So my work is cut out for me. (That doesn't even mention the idea book that has been brewing in my mind all these years!) And all of this is the kind of work that is self-motivated and original. It isn't like I get to clock into work each day and have someone telling me what I need to do. So I am doing well. I keep trying to remember the times when I couldn't bring myself to even get out of bed! It helps me to be more forgiving of my own shortfalls. And now I know for sure how to clear my head which is a major necessity when you work in the creative arts! This is all good! Hopefully I can find a very pretty and steep hill in our new town. I will name it My Hill of Clarity for sentimental reasons. Aren't we scrapbookers silly with our sentimental recordings of our daily moments! But that is the best part of life to me! And I am so blessed to be able to take time for it!

1 comment:

  1. Kelley,

    Wow, what timing. Today after I have been reading Body Clutter for several days, I got up and took my ipod where I downloaded a routine where a guy tells me what muscles to squeeze while I am walking, and I went for a great walk. This is the begining - my first baby step! Yippeee, I finally got off my fanny. And look at you....look at all you have accomplished and are accomplishing. Just little babysteps all the time. Wonderful! You are a fantastic writer. I love to read your blog and, as always, you inspire me! Thanks for sharing your life!